Confessions and Revelations
by RozaSlade
Summary: Barry finds a letter written by Caitlin the day of his wedding that he wasn't supposed to read. Confused and overcome with emotions, he decides to confront Caitlin about it, but he finds out more than he was expecting to. [ One shot ]


Barry,

Congratulations! I'm sure I've told you that about a thousand times by now, but it needs saying. Words can't come close to show how happy I am for you and Iris. I can't believe you're finally getting married! Or, well, I guess by the time you read this you're already married! I remember the late-night conversations we used to have about how she always made you feel so special, and how we bonded over the heartbreak of it all when you thought she didn't share the same feelings for you. How silly must that all feel now. But, I know how it feels to love someone who doesn't feel the same way, so I'm ecstatic you get to spend the rest of your life with the woman of your dreams and that she loves you as much as you love her. Lightning doesn't strike twice, Barry, but it has with you. So, once again, congratulations.

Now, you're about to read something that will be hard to sit through. Please don't stop halfway. I know you, Bartholomew Henry Allen, and I know how impatient you can get. So just, finish the letter. Before you do anything rash.

I'll know if you don't.

By the time you read this, I've already settled down in Starling City- permanently. Oliver needed an extra hand protecting the city, and knowing how dangerous it is there I couldn't say no when he asked. I sincerely hope you understand, although I get it if you don't. This might seem like it's coming out of nowhere, but I've wanted to leave for quite some time now. I just needed a fresh start; a new city and all that.

I know how tempting it is, with your speed, to come rush over and demand an explanation but I'm asking you not to. Please, just let this be. Let me go. If you get here and ask me to come back, I don't think I'll be able to say no to you. That's why I have to write you this letter, like a coward. Because I don't have the heart to tell you I'm leaving in person. Especially not when you're about to get married to the love of your life. It's supposed to be a happy day, and I don't want to fill your mind with anything other than your lovely wife.

We'll see each other soon, I promise. But in the meantime, don't contact me. Don't call, or text, or visit. Don't even ask Cisco how I'm doing. Yes, he knew I was leaving, but don't be mad at him for not warning you. I asked him not to. And I know this is asking a lot, but please don't be mad at me, either. Someday, I'll tell you why I had to leave, but not now. I can't now. Just trust me when I tell you I have a very valid reason.

When the time is right, when I'm ready, I'll come visit Central City again. But please, _please_ don't look for me before then. This may be a selfish request, but let me be selfish.

I love you, Barry. And Cisco, and Joe, and Cecile, and Iris, and everyone. I love you, all. But I love me more. And I'm doing what's best for me. Thank you for respecting that. And thank you for some of the best three years of my life.

All my love,

Caitlin

* * *

"What the hell is this?" Barry asked in bewilderment, gripping the letter tightly in his hands.

He stood by himself in the STAR Lab's med bay sometime in the early morning.

He had left his tux there the night before as Caitlin offered her surgically skilled hands to make some much-needed adjustments before the big day. The new training exercises he had learned from Oliver were bulking him up more so than his body was used to and, as a result, when he tried on the suit for the second time it was a lot tighter than he remembered. He trusted Cait with the task, partly because he knew how talented she was from all the times she's stitched him back up, and because no tailor in the city (or any city) would take on such a task at the last minute without completely blowing his wedding budget.

Caitlin had called him earlier in the day to tell him it was ready in the lab, and that he should stop by before he left for church to try it on once more to make sure she had the measurements perfect. When he left, however, she sent him another message telling him something had come up, so she wouldn't be able to meet him there but to try the suit on anyway and let her know how it fit.

Eagerly, he rushed to the med lab to find his tux hanging on one of the cabinets. He stopped when he noticed one the cabinet drawer's that was usually locked was now slightly ajar. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, he forced it wider and found an envelope with his name beautifully written in cursive. He opened it, and, well, here he was. Hours before his wedding, shocked and confused.

He reached in his pocket to grab his phone and sorted through his contacts. Once he read Caitlin's name he pressed the screen and held it to his ear.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Uh, hey, Cait, it's me. I, uh, I just got the suit," he spoke into the phone, still staring intently at her letter, "Listen, I-I think I found something I wasn't supposed to. I don't really know what it means and I don't know if you meant to show it to me or if you changed your mind or I don't know what..."

He felt himself starting to ramble.

"Just- just call me when you get this, okay? It's important. Thanks."

He hung up and lowered his cellphone. His eyes danced through each letter Caitlin had written, trying to find some explanation in her words, feeling a rush of emotions he couldn't discern. Then he felt his phone vibrate in his palm.

He answered right away, not bothering to see who it was.

"Caitlin, where are you?"

"Um, no babe, it's me." Iris's voice came through the phone's speaker, "Is everything okay? You sound worried."

Barry cleared his throat, "What? No- yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. What's up?"

"Okay," she sounded hesitant, "I just wanted to let you know the crisis is officially averted."

"Crisis? What crisis?"

His eyes finally left the letter. He held the phone to his shoulder and folded the paper along the creases, and then packed it in his pocket.

"With the cake."

"Cake?"

"The wedding cake, _remember_?"

He rolled his eyes, thankful that his fiancée couldn't see him at the moment. Their wedding cake was the furthest thing from his mind.

Yet, she pressed on, "They set the order for two tiers, but we needed three for today. Babe, are you sure you're okay? You're not having cold feet, are you?"

He heard her giggle on the other line.

"I told you, I'm fine. It's just... Have you seen Caitlin?"

"Caitlin? Why, is she okay? Should I be worried? Cause the last thing I need is for our wedding to turn into some doomsday bash."

He rolled his eyes again and grabbed his suit, "Just answer the question. Have you seen her?"

"Wow, that _does not_ sound like kind of man who is excited to get married today."

"Iris!" He yelled, and immediately felt guilty about it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Really. I _am_ excited to marry you, I am. It's just," He looked back at the suit in his hands, thinking of a good lie, "Caitlin needs to make some adjustments on my suit and I wanted to know where she was."

"Oh," she responded with ease in her voice, "Well why didn't you say so, silly? Last time I spoke to her, she was on her way to pick up Felicity at the station. They should be at the church by now, though I haven't seen either of them."

"Great, thanks." He hung up the phone before he could hear Iris tell him she loved him.

Barry rushed to the chapel, with his suit still on the hanger and Caitlin's letter burning a hole in his pants pocket. He entered the large cathedral with minimal efforts, as it was still too early for any of the guests to arrive. He looked around and saw Felicity by the front pew in her dress speaking to Oliver in a hushed tone.

"Felicity!" Barry cried out, causing the two to turn his way.

"Barry!" The smile she gave him turned into a look of confusion, "What are you wearing?"

He looked down to his plain white shirt and jeans, feeling apathetic about his wardrobe. Being dressed for the occasion was not currently his priority. So, instead of answering her question he gave her one in return.

"Where's Caitlin?"

She blinked rapidly and raised her eyebrows, "She's in the back, getting ready."

He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding in. He felt relief knowing she was still here, and that it wasn't too late to try to convince her to stay. The pounding in his chest slowed but somehow got louder.

"You don't look so good," Oliver commented.

Barry turned to Oliver and all he could think of was how he convinced Caitlin to join Team Arrow.

With rage building in his chest, he barked, " _What the hell,_ Oliver?"

Oliver responded by pulling his eyebrows together and tilting his head slightly. He opened his mouth to say something but Barry interfered.

"What? One gorgeous brainiac wasn't enough for you, you had to take mine too?"

Felicity's eyes darted to Oliver. Her right eyebrow shot up, demanding an explanation.

Oliver looked back at her and shook his head.

"I don't know what he's talking about," he assured her, then returned to Barry, " _I don't know what you're talking about_."

His expression was almost laughable, but Barry was not in the joking mood.

Instead, Barry pulled out the letter, "This! Caitlin! How could you ask her to leave?"

"What? I didn't ask her to leave."

Barry puffed out his chest and balled his hand into a fist, crushing the letter between his fingers in the process. He'd trust Caitlin Snow over Starling City's masked vigilante any day of the week, and hearing Oliver lie straight to his face after being accused of stealing Caitlin away from him made his blood boil.

Oliver noticed Barry's heightened display of testosterone and got in front of Felicity, in case a fight broke out.

"Actually," Felicity said, her voice a bit muffled from being pressed to Oliver's back, "She asked me."

"What?" The two men questioned, and turned to her.

"I was going to tell you," She first said to Oliver, then to both men, "Caitlin asked me if she could join the team a few days ago. I told her we're always in need of more help and that she'd make a great addition. And... I've been helping her look for apartments in the city ever since. Should I not have done that? Was that not okay? Can she still join? Because we found a _surprisingly_ nice apartment by Rock Ave that's pretty cheap and we're trying to get a jump on that."

Oliver, being used to Felicity's quirk of overexplaining when nervous, held her shoulders as if to soothe her.

"Yes, of course, it's okay. She's more than welcome. But... Why the sudden move?"

Felicity's eyes met the ground and she pursed her lips together in silent defiance.

This time, Barry spoke out, "Felicity, please. I need to know."

She shifted her weight, feeling awkward. Crossing her arms, she took a deep breath and answered, "I don't think I should say."

Barry's eyes swelled and he groaned, "Felicity!"

"I _mean_ ," she corrected, "I don't think it should come from me."

Barry gave her a look of confusion, and she continued, "If you really want to know why Caitlin wants to leave, ask her."

He didn't think twice.

"You said she was in the back?" He asked, stuffing the letter back in his pocket.

However, he didn't wait for a reply. Instead, he disappeared in a blur to search for her. He left the two with a firm gust of wind from his sudden speed, and a knowing smile on Felicity's face.

* * *

Barry had knocked on a few doors of the chapel with no luck. He was growing tired of rejection until he asked the priest that was scheduled to marry him in a few hours, who told him the preparation room, where she would most likely be, was on the second floor. With this newfound knowledge, he made his way upstairs and stopped at the door labeled 'Women's Room.'

He tapped so fast he was worried he'd accidentally phase through the door.

"What's with all the commotion?"

He could hear a voice from the other side of the door. He knocked again, though much slower this time.

The door opened to reveal Cecile in her long gown and rollers still in her hair.

"Barry!" She seemed surprised.

She immediately pressed the door closer to her body, making it nearly impossible for Barry to see inside the room, "What are you doing here? Don't you know it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?"

"Huh?"

He didn't even consider that Iris would be there. Should he have? He didn't have time to think about that.

"No, I'm looking for Caitlin. Is she here?" He sounded out of breath, though he didn't feel tired.

She glanced down at his clothes, "Yeah, I'll go get her. But you should get changed."

He thanked her, both for leaving to grab Caitlin and for her unsolicited advice. While he waited, he turned around and started pacing. He clutched his suit, still in hand, tightly until his knuckles turned white and wondered briefly if he should put it on already.

"Hey."

He spun around to find Caitlin closing the door behind her. He couldn't stop himself from glancing down and noticing the way her gown hugged her curves perfectly. When she turned to face him, he saw how pretty she looked with just a light coat of mascara. Having the bridesmaids with minimal makeup was Iris's plan so that she could pop more in photos. Barry thought that the idea, though moderately clever, somehow backfired when it came to Caitlin.

"Hi," was all that came out of his mouth.

The smile she gave him wavered when she noticed his attire. Her eyes moved to the suit in his hands and her forehead creased with worry.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed, snatching the suit from his grasp, "Does it not fit? I thought I made the right alterations. Is it the pants? You know, I wasn't too sure about the pants."

Barry's eyes dropped to her mouth when he noticed the way she bit her lower lip.

"No, the pants are fine. At least I think they are, I haven't tried them on."

"Barry!" She lightly pushed at his chest as a form of punishment. He couldn't help but smile.

"What are you doing here then? Put on your tux!"

Her eyes went to the top of his head and reached out to pull down the tangled mess, "And that hair! Did you even look in the mirror today, Mr. Allen?"

She teased him, but when he didn't respond back with a quick remark, her hand dropped and she frowned.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

He chuckled slightly, still not used to how well she's gotten to know him over the years. He reached into his pocket and felt the paper on his fingertips, only just now realizing how nervous he was.

His mouth opened, but he closed it abruptly when they heard the sound of laughter coming from the Women's Room beside them. He was suddenly very much aware of their lack of privacy.

He reached for her hand and squeezed, "Let's talk somewhere more private?"

She nodded and he placed his suit on the handle of the door. He pulled her to a secluded corner of the church, making sure not to use his speed so as to not drag her. Once he found a quiet place by one of the religious mosaics, he let go and went to explain, but lost his breath when he realized how close they were. The multi-colored panels left bright enough reflections on her face to see the light blush painted on her cheeks. His eyes were lost in the contours of her face, and his chest ached when he thought of not being able to see her every day.

"What happened, Barry?"

"Why?" Was all he could say.

"Why what?"

He grabbed the letter from his pocket and extended it toward her. She gasped when her eyes reached the creased paper. Her hand took it immediately without thinking, and she looked at the wrinkled mess of words she had written just two days prior in horror.

"Where did you get this?"

His face relaxed, feeling like he was in a dream.

"Why, Cait?" He whispered, trying to find an answer in her eyes.

"Barry, you weren't supposed to read this."

"So it isn't true, then? You aren't leaving?"

She broke his gaze and clutched the paper harder, "I didn't say that."

He shook his head, not accepting her response.

"But I don't understand. Why would you leave?"

"You're not supposed to understand, Barry," she closed her eyes, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but you weren't supposed to know. Not now. Not today."

He reached for her arm, thinking he should support her but really he was just in need of an excuse to touch her. To feel she was still there with him; because she suddenly felt worlds away.

"Cait, please," His grip tightened around her arm, "I thought you were happy here."

"I was. I am," She assured him immediately as if out of habit, but taking a moment before she continued, "Barry, you've made me happier than I could ever explain."

"You all have," She quickly added, not meeting his line of sight.

"Then _why_?"

She turned her frame away from him, separating his touch from her arm, "I can't tell you."

He laughed from the absurdity of it all but finding no joy in its sound.

"Caitlin, the least you could do is explain. And _this letter_ ," he twisted her around, grabbing hold of the letter she still kept in her palm and held her so close he could see the golden flecks in her eyes, "I deserve better than this letter. After everything we've been through..."

She didn't say anything. But Barry kept staring into her eyes, and she found sadness in his, "You weren't even going to say goodbye. Do I mean so little to you?"

"No, Barry," She placed her hands on the sides of his face, holding him tight and wishing she could tell him everything.

Her lips trembled and she pushed him away. She didn't trust herself to be so close to him, "You mean... _so much_ to me."

She closed her eyes.

"Caitlin, look at me," she refused, " _Look_ at me."

Her eyes revealed grief, and she felt a warm tear fall down her cheek. He reached over and rubbed it away with the back of his fingers, and kept his hand there.

"Whatever your reason to leave is... Don't. We need you here. _I_ need you here."

Her eyes shut once more, causing additional silent tears to fall, as she pressed her face into the warmth of his hand.

"That's exactly why I have to leave," She murmured so softly Barry almost didn't hear. She took his hand and pulled it away from her face, her eyes wistfully fixed on the callouses formed from the years of crime fighting.

She gave his hand one final squeeze and turned to leave. She got about three steps away until Barry flashed over to her and pushed her to the wall with his body, forcing her to look at him. He was overcome with emotion, but the one taking center stage was outrage.

"I'm not going to let you! Not until you tell me why you're abandoning us."

"Abandoning you? Me?" She blinked her tears away, "Barry you're the one who abandoned _me_!"

The shock of it all kept him from replying.

"Time and time again, you abandoned me. And the team. First with Linda, then Patty, then Iris. Oh, God, Iris! It was the worst with her. The _second_ you got with Iris it was like I didn't even exist!"

His grip on her loosened involuntarily, "Caitlin, I-"

"And _excuse_ _me_ for not putting up with it anymore!"

He exhaled the anger away, "I'm sorry, Caitlin if I gave you the impression I didn't care about you, but that's just not true. And it shouldn't be a reason for you to leave. I _care_ about you, Caity. You _must_ know that by now."

She nodded while looking away, a sarcastic smile on her lips.

"Yes, you care," Her gaze darted back to his, "Just not the same way I care about you."

He stepped back, freeing Caitlin from his grasp. He stared at his close friend, unsure of what to think or how he should react.

"What do you mean?"

She laughed scornfully, "Of course you don't know what I mean."

She pushed him away and started to walk elsewhere. Barry stood still, unable to move, watching her as she continued to move across the hall.

He took a step toward her and yelled, " _Make me_ understand, then!"

Her legs kept her from moving any farther. She wobbled her head and stared at the ceiling, not believing how the day turned out.

Caitlin spun around in a fury and gawked at the scarlet speedster in sheer incredulity.

Screw it.

"I'm in love with you, Barry."

She breathed and felt ten pounds lighter. God, that felt good to say. She didn't even care that he didn't say anything back.

Her lips curled into a smile, "I'm in love with you."

Then, she laughed.

She laughed, and it felt _so_ _good_ to laugh. She bit her lip then put her hand to her mouth, realizing what she said.

"I didn't realize how easy that would be," she spoke and giggled once more.

Her eyes met Barry's and she was unable to read his facial expression. Shock? Confusion? Disgust? She didn't care.

"I'm in love with you and _that's_ why I have to leave."

Barry's eyelids vibrated from how fast he blinked successively. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, and he worried for a second it might pop out.

The sound of his breath escaping his mouth was audible in the silence, "Since when?"

"Since always," Her smile widened and more tears fell down her face, "I may not have realized but I think I loved you all the way back then."

She laughed and thought back at the past three years they've been together. Every laugh, every hug, every stolen glance.

"You were the first person to make me laugh after Ronnie died. The first one," She couldn't believe she was telling him all of this, but it felt so good to confess that she couldn't stop herself, "And after I thought nothing and no one could ever make me feel a fraction of what I felt with Ronnie, you showed up... like the lightning bolt you were... right into my life."

A chuckle escaped her lips, "You listened to me, Barry, and you actually cared about what I had to say. You saved me countless times, and you," she laughed, "You voluntarily embarrassed yourself when you sang karaoke with me... just because I asked you to."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"You're impatient and stubborn, and jealous as all hell," she smiled and took a singular step toward him, "But you're also kind, and brave, and way too charming for your own good. And you're smart. So, _so_ smart. And selfless."

They stood in silence as Caitlin paused to collect her thoughts.

"And, Barry, it was impossible not to fall in love with you. From the first day to the last... You've made it impossible."

She bit her lip once more, "And I want you to be happy," a sniffle escaped her nose "Even if that means it's not with me."

He just stared. God, Barry, say something. _Anything_. But he couldn't. His mind was completely blank. All he could do was listen. He wanted to make sure he heard every word.

"So, I have to leave. Because my heart can't take it anymore, Barry. I can't keep waiting for something that's never been meant for me."

She held onto her shoulders, hugging herself. Barry started to walk toward her, wanting to be the support she needed, but she turned away from him.

"I tried, Barry," She whispered, "I need you to know I tried. To move on... but it's so hard to when you give me that smile of yours. And then you look at me and I think that maybe... maybe you feel the same way. But you never saw me, did you?"

She wiped the tears from her face, not caring how awful she must look, and sighed heavily. She turned around and gave Barry the brightest smile he'd ever seen, "Congratulations, Barry. Send my regrets to Iris for not being there, but I don't think I can be at the ceremony anymore. Conflict of interests, and all."

Her smile faded and she let another tear roll down, "Bye, Mr. Allen."

He held out a hand for her, but she was already leaving.

 _'Say something, you idiot,'_ he thought, _'She's leaving, and you're letting her. You're letting her walk out of your life!'_

Barry hung his head down and saw a small puddle of water on the ground. He only realized it was his tears once it became harder to see. When had he started crying?

"There you are!"

He lifted his head and turned around. He saw Cisco rushing toward him from the opposite side of the hallway with his suit in his hand.

"I've been looking everywhere for you! Why aren't you dressed yet?"

Then he got close enough to see Barry's red nose and bloodshot eyes, "Jesus, what happened to you? Are you okay?"

"She left, Cisco. She just left."

Cisco instantly drew him closer and gave him a hug, allowing Barry to sob freely.

"She just canceled the wedding, huh? Just like that?"

Barry pulled away, "No, not Iris. Caitlin."

He felt Cisco stiffen, "Oh."

"So, I guess finally she told you, huh?"

He nodded while rubbing his eyes free from any more stray tears, "Since the beginning. She's felt that way since the beginning."

"Well, yeah," Cisco smiled solemnly, "Didn't you feel the same way then too?"

It was a simple question, but Barry didn't know how to answer it. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He stood there while the past three years rushed through his mind. Did he feel the same way? Did Barry love Caitlin back then, he wondered?

He thought back at all the times she was there for him: to patch him back up, to take care of him, to make him laugh. Unconditionally, without question, she was always there and he never had to ask. She had risked her life for him more than once, and every time she did it without hesitation. When he lost his powers, she told him he was special without them- and he didn't believe her then. But now, after the sudden revelation, he knew she meant it.

He was confused about everything, except for maybe one thing: he couldn't marry Iris. Not today. Not without knowing the truth about his feelings.

Barry thanked Cisco and took his suit. With his powers, he was dressed in seconds. He knew if he had to announce the wedding was delayed, he should do it in style.

The first stop he made was the Women's Room. Not bothering to knock, he barged in and saw Iris taking photos by a window.

"Barry!" She screamed, and hid behind the curtain, "You aren't supposed to see me before the wedding!"

He went over to her and spoke through the thin cloth, "I'm sorry, Iris, I needed to."

"Is everything okay?"

He bit his lip and thought back to Caitlin's confession. How open and raw she was. The words she said. The love he felt pour out of her. It was all so much.

"When did you first realize you loved me?" His voice was firm but soft.

She laughed, "We aren't really doing this right now, are we?"

"Please just answer me."

She sighed, "I don't know. I guess last year? When everything in the universe told me we were supposed to be together."

He furrowed his eyebrows together, "The universe told you?"

"Well, yeah," she smiled, "Didn't it tell you too?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, lost in thought. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he knew he had a lot more feelings about Caitlin's admission.

"If," He started, then thought some more before continuing, "If I wasn't the Flash, would you have still fallen for me?"

Her eyes widened and she looked down at her engagement ring, "Jesus, Barry, what brought this on?"

His eyes shut close, "Please..."

She scoffed slightly, out of annoyance, "I don't know. Maybe?"

Iris felt Barry's hand on her shoulder through the fabric.

"You don't know, huh?" He smiled slightly, "Be honest, I can take it."

She looked up, trying to remember the way she saw him before she realized he was the Flash. She thought of growing up with him, and the countless family vacations. The person in her memory was her brother through and through, and definitely not her fiance.

He could feel her shaking her head, "I don't think so, Barry. Is that too cruel?"

Barry started laughing. He took a deep breath, surprised with himself because he was actually glad.

"I can't marry you, Iris."

"What?" She yelled and pulled the curtain back. Her eyes were enraged and her nostrils were flared, "What you mean you can't marry me?"

He shrugged and shook his head, "I love you, Iris. I do. I always will. But I don't think either of us is in love with each other."

She blinked and he vibrated with excitement.

"I was always obsessed with the idea of you," he confessed, a smile plastered on his face, "And you... Well, you said it yourself. If I wasn't the Flash, we probably wouldn't be together anyway."

Caitlin was right, this was surprisingly easier than he thought. And he understood why she seemed so happy. Confessing it all felt incredible.

"Barry," she said slowly, "There's a church full of people downstairs expecting a wedding. What are you telling me right now?"

He laughed wholeheartedly. He picked her up and twirled her around the room, "I'm not in love with you, Iris! And neither are you!"

Barry placed her down gently, "I understand if you're mad at me, hell I'm mad at myself for losing our deposits. But we just saved ourselves from making a huge mistake."

Iris's eyes were wide, not fully comprehending what was going on.

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, "I'll go downstairs and deal with the guests. You can sneak out the window if you'd like."

Barry ran, leaving a trail of lightning in his wake.

"What the hell?" She asked herself. She was upset, she knew she was. She had come to love Barry in a way she didn't think she could. But, she knew, deep down, he was right. The pain she felt from losing Eddie stung so much deeper, so being left at the altar by someone who was essentially her brother was a walk in the park.

She sighed heavily and was shocked when she felt a wave of relief wash over her.

* * *

Caitlin sprawled out on her couch with her hand covering her eyes. She replayed her confession in her mind, thinking of the different things she should have said. Thinking of how Barry just stood there, like a deer in headlights.

She groaned, feeling embarrassed. Was this a mistake? Should she have kept it to herself?

Probably not. This was for the best, she convinced herself. He's getting married now, and she's free to have a fresh start.

She sighed and got up and she heard a knock on her door.

"Coming!"

She grabbed her wallet from the counter, getting some tip for the pizza she ordered. She pulled out a ten and opened the door.

"B-Barry?" She stuttered. Did she fall asleep on the couch? Was this all a dream?

Sure enough, Barry Allen was dressed in his tuxedo, bent over and panting heavily on her doorstep.

"What are you doing here?"

He panted some more and straightened his posture, sweat dripping down his face.

"I did," he said through his gasps.

"What?"

He sighed again and smiled, "You said I never saw you. But I did."

She crossed her arms, "Barry, what are you-"

He stepped into her apartment and headed toward her, causing her to walk back until she reached the wall.

"I always saw you, Caitlin. And I never did anything about it because I cared too much about you to risk it."

He used the wall behind her to support his body weight, and moved his other hand to her face, "I never saw it before. I never realized it, but it was always you, Cait. Always."

He touched his forehead to hers, "Every step of the way, you were always there. You always held my hand when I needed one to hold. You always made me laugh when I didn't even want to smile. You were the storm that formed my lightning."

The hand on the wall moved to the other side of her face, "Don't go, Caitlin."

Her heartbeat was like a cacophony in her ears. She felt light-headed from the smell of his cologne and natural musk mixing together. His voice was rough, and gentle all at the same time. And she was losing herself to his touch.

"What about Iris?"

She felt his chuckle on her face and she closed her eyes, reveling in the closeness. The tip of his nose touched hers and she almost melted, "I called off the wedding."

"What?"

Her eyes shot open and her hand grabbed his wrist, "You can't-"

"Shh." He commanded, and Caitlin could see the scruff on his face from failing to shave that morning.

His eyelashes fluttered and Caitlin was lost in the forest of his eyes. He made a quick short movement with his head from side to side and leaned back to stare at every one of her features. His thumb rubbed the apple of her cheek and she gulped, unable to think.

"I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out," He chuckled halfheartedly.

She stared back at him, so scared of giving in, but finding herself doing so anyway.

"I'm completely in love you, Caitlin Snow," He whispered, staring at her lips, "And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I love you. And I don't want to waste another second not loving you."

She took a breath, "Barry-"

His lips crashed into hers and she could no longer remember what she wanted to tell him. He was gentle; so soft and tender. He touched her like she was made out of glass. But he was overwhelmed. By everything that was Caitlin. The smell of her shampoo, the taste of her chapstick, the sounds of her little moans.

When she kissed him back, he was able to let go of himself and get lost in her.

They felt a spark with each kiss until Caitlin grabbed his hair and deepened the experience. His hands left her face and explored the rest of her.

She bit his bottom lip playfully and he gave a low moan. She pulled away and Barry's hands went to her waist, then he pulled her into a tight hug, feeling her breasts pressed on his chest.

"Wow," She exhaled, still panting from the kiss.

Barry chuckled and moved to give her a quick kiss, enjoying the sparks he felt along the way.

"Does this mean you'll stay?" He asked once more.

She nodded, and he couldn't resist kissing her again.

"What are we doing, Barry? What does this mean?"

He laughed, and she could feel the source of his laughter reverberating through her.

"It means I'm yours, Caitlin. For as long as you'll have me."

She sighed, and felt a tear down her the side of her face, "Forever?"

He kissed the salty liquid away, "Even longer, if you'd like."


End file.
